You've decided to start therapy. Great—that's the hard part.

Now comes the confusing bit: where do you even start looking? What makes one therapist different from another? How do you know if you've found the right person?

Most people say finding the right therapist is part luck, part intuition, part practical criteria. Let me walk you through what actually matters.

Start With Practical Criteria

1. Credentials and Registration

This is non-negotiable. Check that your therapist is registered with a reputable body.

In the UK, look for:

BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy): The largest accreditation body. BACP-registered therapists have completed formal training, adhere to an ethical code, carry professional indemnity insurance, and engage in continuing professional development.
RCCP (Register of Counsellors and Psychotherapists): Another reputable register with rigorous standards
UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy): Particularly for psychotherapy
BPS (British Psychological Society): For psychologists

Red flags:

Therapist with no qualifications or registration
Only a diploma in a short course (legitimate courses are 2+ years)
No professional insurance
Unwilling to provide credentials when asked

How to verify:

Ask your therapist directly: "Which body are you registered with?"
Check the register on their website (e.g., BACP directory)
Ask about their qualifications and supervision

2. Modality and Approach

Different therapies suit different people and problems.

Common approaches:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Good for anxiety, specific problems, practical tools. More structured and directive.
Psychodynamic: Good for understanding patterns, often longer-term. Explores unconscious material.
Person-Centred: Humanistic, emphasises acceptance and your own wisdom. Good if you need to feel understood and non-judged.
Integrative: Combines multiple approaches. Flexible and tailored to you.
Transactional Analysis (TA): Good for relationship patterns, understanding interactions. Structured and practical.
Gestalt: Good for here-and-now awareness, presence, responsibility. More experiential.

What to do:

Think about what you need. Are you wanting tools and practical strategies? Understanding of patterns? To feel accepted? Presence and awareness?
Research modalities that sound like they fit
Ask prospective therapists: "Tell me about your approach" and "How would you work with my specific situation?"

3. Specialisms

Some therapists specialise in specific areas:

Anxiety and depression
Trauma (not all therapists are trauma-trained; this matters)
Relationship issues
Life transitions
LGBTQ+ issues
Grief
Sexual dysfunction
Addiction

If you have a specific issue, look for someone experienced in that area.

4. Practical Logistics

Location: South West London office, online, or walking therapy?
Times: Do they have availability that suits your schedule?
Cost: What's the session fee? Do they offer any sliding scale?
Cancellation policy: What's the notice period?
Session length: Typically 50-60 minutes
Frequency: Most therapists work weekly; some offer flexibility

The Initial Consultation

Most therapists offer a brief initial phone call (often free) to discuss whether they might be the right fit.

Questions to ask:

"Are you currently accepting new clients?" Obvious, but worth checking.
"What's your approach to therapy, and how would you work with [your specific issue]?" Listen to how they describe their work. Do they sound like they understand you? Do they take time to answer or rush through?
"What are your qualifications and registrations?" They should answer clearly and be happy to provide proof.
"Have you worked with people experiencing [your issue] before?" Experience matters.
"What would you expect from me in therapy?" Good therapists will explain that this is collaborative work, that you drive the agenda, that you're in control.
"What would our first session look like?" They should explain the basic process.
"How do you handle confidentiality?" They should explain clearly (confidentiality with limited exceptions like imminent danger).
"How often would we meet, and how do we know when therapy is complete?" This varies, but they should be clear.

What NOT to do:

Ask detailed personal questions yet (that's for the first session)
Expect them to diagnose or promise outcomes in a phone call
Feel pressured to commit if it doesn't feel right

Red Flags

Avoid therapists who:

Lack credentials or registration
Rush the initial consultation
Promise quick fixes ("You'll feel better in 3 sessions")
Seem more interested in talking about themselves
Ask for contact outside of sessions
Have unclear confidentiality policies
Seem dismissive of your concerns
Pressure you to commit to a long contract
Don't allow you to ask questions

The First Session

After booking, you might feel nervous. That's normal.

What to expect:

Basic admin (contact details, emergency information)
Explanation of confidentiality and boundaries
You talking about what brought you in
The therapist listening and gathering information
Probably no deep work yet—you're getting to know each other

How to assess fit:

Do you feel heard?
Do you feel judged?
Do you feel a basic sense of connection or trust?
Do you feel safe?
Did the therapist ask clarifying questions or mostly stay silent?
Was there an appropriate balance between you talking and them guiding?

How Long to Give It

One session: Don't judge fit from one session. You're both still settling.

Three sessions: By session three, you should have a basic sense of whether this person might work for you. If it feels fundamentally wrong—you feel judged, unheard, or unsafe—trust that and find someone else.

Six sessions: If you're uncertain after six sessions, discuss it with your therapist. Sometimes resistance to therapy is resistance to changing, not a sign of bad fit. But sometimes it is a sign of bad fit.

Ongoing: Even if it's working, it's okay to reconsider later. If after months something feels off, you can change therapists.

Changing Therapists

There's no obligation to stay with one therapist. You can:

Try someone else if the fit isn't right
Switch if your needs change
See a second opinion from another therapist

How to change respectfully:

Give notice (most therapists ask for at least one session's notice, though more is courteous)
You don't owe a detailed explanation, but a simple "I think I need a different approach" is fine
Confirm the ending date with your therapist

This is normal. Most therapists expect it and won't take it personally.

Finding Therapists Practically

Where to look:

BACP directory (bacp.co.uk): Search by location and specialism
Counselling Directory (counselling-directory.org.uk): Another searchable directory
Therapy Directory (therapydirectory.com): Comprehensive directory
Recommendation: Ask your GP for a referral
Employer: Check if your workplace offers Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) with free therapy sessions
Charities: Some offer free or low-cost therapy (Mind, Rethink, etc.)

Cost Considerations

Private therapy: Typically £50-£150 per session (varies by location and experience). Many therapists offer sliding scale fees.

NHS therapy: Usually free but with a waiting list. Ask your GP.

Charities: Many offer free or low-cost therapy.

Employee assistance: Check if your employer offers this.

The Most Important Thing

The research consistently shows: the quality of the relationship between therapist and client is the strongest predictor of therapy success.

Technical qualifications matter. Approach matters. But ultimately, you need to feel genuinely met by another person who cares about your wellbeing.

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. If something feels right, give it a chance.

TL;DR: Key Takeaways

Check credentials: Make sure they're BACP-registered or equivalent
Consider modality and specialism: What approach fits what you need?
Ask questions in the initial consultation: Don't feel pressured to decide immediately
Judge fit after 3-6 sessions: One session isn't enough data
The relationship quality matters most: You need to feel heard, safe, and understood
It's okay to change therapists: No obligation to stay if it's not working

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if the issue is the therapist or me resisting therapy?

Good question. If you feel unheard or unsafe, that's a therapist issue. If you feel safe but uncomfortable (therapy brings up big feelings), that's often healthy discomfort. Discuss it with your therapist—"I feel uncomfortable; is this normal?"

Should I try the same modality with a different therapist if one doesn't work?

Not necessarily. If you felt unsafe, switch therapists. But if you felt safe and just didn't resonate, consider trying a different modality.

What if I can't afford therapy?

Options: sliding scale with private therapists, NHS therapy (free but may have a wait), charities, your employer's EAP, or online therapy (sometimes cheaper).

Ready to start looking for a therapist? Use the directories above and trust your instincts. The right fit is worth the search.

How to Find the Right Therapist: A Practical Guide