Walking into your first therapy session can feel daunting. Your palms might be a bit sweaty, you're probably wondering what you'll talk about, and there's that niggling question: "Will I even know what to say?"

Here's the thing—you're not alone in feeling this way. Nearly every client I've worked with has arrived at that first appointment carrying a similar bundle of nerves. And that's completely normal.

This guide will walk you through everything you need to know to feel confident and prepared for your first therapy session, from practical logistics to the emotional groundwork that'll help you get the most out of your time.

TL;DR: Key Takeaways

Arrive 5-10 minutes early to settle in and complete any paperwork
Be honest about your concerns—therapists are trained to handle difficult emotions
It's okay not to have everything figured out—therapy is a process, not a one-time fix
Ask questions—about the approach, confidentiality, or anything else on your mind
Give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable—growth often happens outside comfort zones

Before the Session: Practical Preparation
What to Bring (And What to Leave Behind)
What Actually Happens in a First Session
Common Questions Your Therapist Will Ask
How to Make the Most of Your Time
What If It Doesn't Feel Right?
After the Session: Reflection and Next Steps

Before the Session: Practical Preparation

Sort Out the Logistics First

Nothing adds to pre-appointment anxiety like rushing through traffic or fumbling with video call links. Here's your pre-session checklist:

For In-Person Sessions:

Confirm the address and check travel time the day before
Plan to arrive 5-10 minutes early (but not too early—sitting in a waiting room for 20 minutes amplifies nerves)
Locate parking or check public transport options
Save your therapist's contact number in case you're running late

For Online Sessions:

Test your internet connection an hour beforehand
Find a private, comfortable space where you won't be interrupted
Check your camera and microphone settings
Have a glass of water nearby
Close unnecessary browser tabs to avoid distractions

Jot Down Some Thoughts (But Don't Overthink It)

You don't need to arrive with a prepared speech, but spending 10-15 minutes the night before thinking about what's bringing you to therapy can be helpful. Consider jotting down:

What's been weighing on you lately
Specific situations or feelings you'd like to explore
Any goals you have for therapy (even vague ones like "I want to feel less anxious")
Questions you have about the therapy process

One client once told me she'd written a three-page essay about her childhood before her first session, then felt embarrassed about "overpreparing." But actually, that preparation helped her articulate things she'd never put into words before. There's no wrong way to prepare.

What to Bring (And What to Leave Behind)

Things to Bring

Your genuine self. This might sound trite, but it's the most important thing. Therapy works best when you show up as you are, not as you think you should be.
Your notes (if you've made any)
An open mind—about the process, about yourself, about possibilities you hadn't considered
Patience—for yourself and the therapeutic process

Things to Leave Behind

Expectations of an instant fix. Therapy isn't like going to the GP with a sore throat and leaving with antibiotics. It's a gradual process.
Shame about seeking help. Coming to therapy is an act of courage and self-care, not weakness.
The need to impress. Your therapist isn't grading you. There are no wrong answers.

What Actually Happens in a First Session

The Warm-Up (First 10 Minutes)

Most therapists will begin with introductions and administrative bits—confidentiality, session length, fees, cancellation policies. This might feel clinical, but it's necessary groundwork that actually helps you relax into the session.

At Kicks Therapy, I typically start by asking how you're feeling about being here. Sometimes people laugh nervously and say "Terrified!" And that's perfectly fine. Naming that nervousness often helps it dissipate a bit.

The Exploration Phase (20-30 Minutes)

This is where your therapist will start to understand what's brought you here. They might ask about:

What's happening in your life right now
How long you've been experiencing these feelings or situations
Whether you've had therapy before
What you're hoping to get from the sessions

[EXPERT QUOTE]

"I always tell new clients that the first session is a bit like a first date—you're both figuring out if you're a good fit. There's no pressure to dive into the deepest stuff right away. Sometimes we talk about surface-level concerns, and that's completely appropriate." — Dr. Sarah Mitchell, Integrative Therapist, British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

Understanding the Approach (10-15 Minutes)

A good therapist will explain how they work. At Kicks Therapy, I use an integrative humanistic approach that combines Person-Centred, Gestalt, and Transactional Analysis methods. What does that actually mean for you?

Person-Centred: You're the expert on your own life. I'm here to facilitate, not direct.
Gestalt: We focus on your present experience and awareness.
Transactional Analysis: We might explore patterns in how you relate to others.

Don't worry if you don't understand every therapeutic term. Your therapist should be able to explain their approach in plain English.

Questions and Next Steps (Final 10 Minutes)

Before wrapping up, your therapist should ask if you have questions. This is also when you'll typically discuss:

Whether you'd both like to continue working together
Frequency of sessions (weekly, fortnightly, etc.)
Practical arrangements for future appointments

Common Questions Your Therapist Will Ask

Here are some questions you're likely to encounter. There's no need to rehearse answers—just knowing they're coming can help you feel more prepared:

"What brings you to therapy right now?" This is the big one. You might have a clear answer ("I'm struggling with anxiety") or a vague sense ("I just feel... stuck"). Both are equally valid.
"Have you been in therapy before?" If yes, what was helpful? What wasn't? If no, that's fine too—everyone starts somewhere.
"How are things in your main relationships?" Family, romantic partnerships, friendships—these contexts help therapists understand your support systems and potential stress points.
"What does a typical day look like for you?" This helps your therapist understand your daily stressors, routines, and coping mechanisms.
"If therapy goes well, what would be different in six months?" You don't need a detailed vision. "I'd feel lighter" or "I'd be less afraid" are perfectly good answers.

How to Make the Most of Your Time

Be Honest About What You're Comfortable Sharing

You don't have to spill your entire life story in 50 minutes. Start where you feel comfortable. As one client put it: "I tested the water first—shared something small and saw how she responded. When she didn't judge me, I knew I could go deeper."

It's Okay to Say "I Don't Know"

Therapy sessions aren't exams. If your therapist asks how you feel about something and you genuinely don't know, saying "I'm not sure" is a completely acceptable answer. Sometimes therapy helps you figure out what you don't yet know.

Ask for Clarification

If your therapist uses jargon you don't understand, or asks a question that doesn't make sense, ask them to explain. Good therapists appreciate when clients engage actively in the process.

Notice How You Feel

Pay attention to your gut reaction. Do you feel heard? Does the space feel safe? Does this person seem like someone you could trust? Trust those instincts.

What If It Doesn't Feel Right?

Here's something therapists don't always talk about openly: therapy is relationship-dependent, and not every client-therapist pairing will click.

That's not a failure on anyone's part. It's just human chemistry.

If you leave your first session feeling uncomfortable (beyond normal first-session nerves), consider:

Is this general anxiety about therapy, or a specific feeling about this particular therapist?
Were there moments where you felt misunderstood or judged?
Did the therapist's style feel too directive or not directive enough for your preference?

You're allowed to try a different therapist. In fact, research from the American Psychological Association shows that the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes—even more than the specific therapeutic approach used.

If you decide to switch, you might say something like: "Thank you for the session. I'm going to explore a few options before committing to ongoing work." Most therapists will appreciate your honesty.

After the Session: Reflection and Next Steps

Give Yourself Processing Time

Block out 20-30 minutes after your session where you don't need to jump straight back into work or family demands. Go for a walk, sit in a café, or just sit in your car for a bit.

Some people feel emotionally raw after therapy. Others feel energised. There's no "correct" way to feel.

Jot Down Reflections

While it's fresh, note down:

Any insights that emerged
Questions that came up for you
How you felt about the therapist and the space
Anything you want to remember to mention next time

Be Gentle With Yourself

Therapy can be tiring. You've just spent 50 minutes being emotionally present and vulnerable. That takes energy.

One client described it as "mental weightlifting"—you're exercising muscles you don't use every day, and it's normal to feel the strain.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if I cry during the session? A: Crying in therapy is extremely common and absolutely okay. Your therapist will have tissues ready and won't be fazed. Tears are often a sign that you're touching on something important.

Q: Should I bring up something traumatic in the first session? A: Only if you feel ready. There's no pressure to dive into deep trauma immediately. Many therapists prefer to build some rapport and trust before exploring the heaviest material.

Q: How much does the first session cost? A: At Kicks Therapy, initial consultations are often offered at a reduced rate or as a free 15-minute introductory call. Standard sessions are £65-£85. Many therapists offer a sliding scale based on income.

Q: What if I run out of things to talk about? A: This rarely happens, but if it does, that silence can be therapeutic too. Your therapist might use the quiet space to ask reflective questions or notice what's happening in that moment.

Q: Can I bring a friend or family member? A: For individual therapy, sessions are typically one-on-one. However, some therapists offer initial consultation calls where a support person can join. Ask beforehand if you'd prefer this.

The Bottom Line

Your first therapy session is the beginning of a journey, not the destination. It's a chance to dip your toe in the water, see how it feels, and decide whether you want to wade in deeper.

Remember: you don't need to have everything figured out before you walk through the door. The whole point of therapy is to figure things out together.

As the Person-Centred pioneer Carl Rogers once wrote, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Your first therapy session is an opportunity to begin that acceptance.

Ready to Take the First Step?

At Kicks Therapy, we offer a free 15-minute introductory call where you can ask questions, get a feel for our approach, and decide if we're the right fit—with absolutely no pressure or commitment.

Whether you're dealing with anxiety, navigating a life transition, or simply feeling stuck, reaching out is an act of self-compassion. And that's something worth celebrating.

Book your free consultation today and start your journey towards greater self-understanding and wellbeing. We offer in-person sessions in Fulham (SW6), online therapy throughout the UK, and walking therapy in South West London.

The information provided in this article is for educational purposes and doesn't replace professional therapeutic advice. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact emergency services or call Samaritans on 116 123.

How to Prepare for Your First Therapy Session: A Practical Guide