Choosing a therapist feels a bit like choosing a partner—but with far less information to go on. You're about to enter a relationship that asks for vulnerability, trust, and significant time and money. How do you know if someone is right before you've even started?

Most therapists offer a brief initial conversation—often free—before you commit. This is your chance to ask questions, get a feel for the person, and make an informed decision.

But what should you actually ask? Here's a practical guide to the questions that matter.

Before You Call: Know What You're Looking For

Before contacting therapists, spend a few minutes clarifying:

What are you seeking help with? You don't need a precise diagnosis, but having a general sense helps—anxiety, relationship patterns, a specific life event, general unhappiness.

What practical constraints exist? Budget, location, availability, whether you need online or in-person, any accessibility requirements.

What's important to you? Some people want structured, practical approaches. Others want open-ended exploration. Some value warmth; others prefer more challenging input.

This clarity helps you ask relevant questions and assess answers meaningfully.

Questions About Qualifications and Experience

"What qualifications do you hold?"

This establishes baseline competence. In the UK, look for:

A diploma or degree in counselling/psychotherapy
Registration with BACP, UKCP, BPC, or HCPC
Any specialist qualifications relevant to your concerns

"Which professional body are you registered with?"

Registration matters. It means the therapist adheres to ethical standards, maintains ongoing professional development, and is accountable if something goes wrong.

"What experience do you have with [your specific issue]?"

Generic training doesn't guarantee expertise in your particular concern. If you're struggling with trauma, OCD, an eating disorder, or another specific issue, ask about relevant experience.

Listen for specificity. "I have significant experience with anxiety" is less informative than "I've worked with panic disorder for eight years and have additional training in CBT for anxiety."

"How long have you been practising?"

Experience matters, though it's not everything. A newly qualified therapist with excellent training might suit you better than someone who's been practising for decades but never updated their approach.

Questions About Approach and Style

"What therapeutic approach do you use?"

Therapists work from different orientations—CBT, psychodynamic, person-centred, integrative, and many others. Understanding their approach helps you assess fit.

If they say "integrative" (drawing from multiple approaches), ask what they actually draw from and how they decide which approach to use with which client.

"How would you describe how you work?"

Beyond theoretical orientation, therapists have personal styles. Some are warm and supportive. Others are more challenging. Some talk a lot; others mostly listen. Some give homework; others don't.

You're trying to get a feel for what sessions would actually be like.

"What would a typical session look like?"

This makes the abstract concrete. Do they follow a structure? Is it free-flowing conversation? Do they use specific techniques? What might the first few sessions involve?

"How do you approach [your specific concern]?"

If you're coming with a specific issue, ask how they'd work with it. Their answer reveals both expertise and style.

Questions About Practicalities

"What are your fees and what's included?"

Be clear about cost. Ask about:

Session fee
Session length (usually 50-60 minutes)
Whether initial consultations are charged
Cancellation policy
Whether they offer reduced fees or sliding scales

"What times are available?"

Therapy only works if you can attend consistently. Make sure their availability matches yours.

"Where do you see clients?"

In-person locations matter. Is it accessible? Safe? Private? Can you get there reliably?

"Do you offer online sessions?"

If flexibility matters to you, check whether video therapy is an option.

"What's your cancellation policy?"

Most therapists require 24-48 hours notice for cancellations, charging full or partial fee for short-notice cancellations. Know what you're committing to.

Questions About the Therapeutic Relationship

"How do you handle it if therapy isn't working?"

Good therapists expect this question and have answers. They might discuss regularly reviewing progress, encouraging open feedback, or referring to someone else if needed.

Beware of therapists who seem offended by the question or who guarantee results.

"How will I know if I'm making progress?"

Therapy isn't always immediately visible in changed feelings. But good therapists can articulate what progress might look like and how you'll both track it.

"What's your approach when clients feel stuck?"

Stuckness is normal in therapy. The question reveals how the therapist handles difficulty.

"How directive are you?"

Some people want guidance and suggestions. Others want space to find their own answers. Neither is wrong, but the mismatch is frustrating.

Questions for Specific Situations

If You've Had Therapy Before

"What would you do differently from my previous therapist?"

Or more specifically: "My last therapist was very [quiet/directive/focused on the past]. How does that compare to how you work?"

If You're Unsure About Therapy

"I'm not sure therapy is right for me. How would you help me figure that out?"

A good therapist won't pressure you. They'll acknowledge ambivalence and offer to explore whether therapy could help.

If You Have Specific Needs

"I have [ADHD/autism/a physical disability/specific requirement]. How do you accommodate that?"

If you have specific needs, ask directly. You want a therapist who's comfortable and capable, not one who's learning on the job with you.

If Budget Is Tight

"Do you offer reduced fees?"

Many therapists have sliding scales. Some reserve spaces for lower-fee clients. If cost is a barrier, ask—the worst they can say is no.

What to Listen For (Beyond the Answers)

The content of answers matters, but so does how they're delivered.

Warmth and Connection

Do you feel comfortable? Can you imagine sharing vulnerable things with this person? First impressions aren't everything, but they're something.

Honesty About Limitations

Good therapists acknowledge what they can't do. "That's outside my expertise" or "I'd need more training to work with that" suggests integrity.

Flexibility

Rigid adherence to one approach regardless of client needs is a concern. Look for willingness to adapt.

Clarity

Can they explain complex things clearly? Jargon-heavy answers that leave you confused aren't a good sign.

Genuine Interest

Do they ask you questions? Show curiosity about your situation? Or do they just talk about themselves?

Questions You Don't Need to Ask

"Are you good at your job?"

They'll say yes. It's not informative.

"Will you fix me?"

No therapist can guarantee outcomes. Be wary of anyone who promises cure or specific results.

Extremely Personal Questions

Their relationship status, politics, religion, or personal life aren't your business (unless directly relevant to whether they can help you).

After the Conversation

Trust Your Gut

Research shows the therapeutic relationship predicts outcomes more than specific techniques. If someone felt right, they probably are. If something felt off, trust that.

Compare Notes

If you've spoken with several therapists, compare. Who did you feel most comfortable with? Who seemed to understand your concerns best?

Don't Overthink

You're not choosing a life partner. If you're reasonably satisfied, give it a try. You can always reassess after a few sessions.

Remember You Can Switch

Choosing a therapist isn't permanent. If it's not working after a fair trial (usually 4-6 sessions), you can find someone else.

Common Concerns

"What if they think my questions are weird?"

They won't. Therapists expect questions and respect clients who advocate for themselves.

"I don't know what approach I want."

That's fine. Ask the therapist to explain their approach and how they think it might help with your concerns.

"The conversation felt awkward."

First conversations often are. A little awkwardness is normal. Significant discomfort is worth heeding.

"I couldn't think of anything to ask."

Use this article as a guide, but also: you can simply tell them what you're struggling with and ask how they might help.

Sample Questions Summary

For your convenience, here's a quick reference list:

About them:

What qualifications do you hold?
Which professional body are you registered with?
What experience do you have with [my issue]?

About their approach:

What therapeutic approach do you use?
How would you describe your style?
How do you work with [my specific concern]?

About practicalities:

What are your fees?
What availability do you have?
Do you offer online sessions?
What's your cancellation policy?

About the work:

How will I know if therapy is working?
What happens if I feel stuck?
How do you handle endings?

Finding Your Therapist

The right therapist is someone you feel comfortable enough with to be honest, whose approach makes sense for your needs, and whose practical arrangements work for your life.

You won't know for certain until you've worked together for a while. But a good initial conversation significantly improves your odds of making a match that works.

If you're considering working with me, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. You're welcome to ask any questions—the ones in this article or any others. My goal is helping you find the right support, whether that's with me or someone else.

The questions you ask matter less than your willingness to ask them. Advocating for yourself from the start sets the tone for productive therapy.

Questions to Ask When Choosing a Therapist