Stress and Burnout: How Therapy Helps You Recover

You wake up exhausted despite sleeping. The thought of opening your work laptop makes your stomach clench. Tasks that once felt manageable now seem insurmountable. You're cynical about work that used to matter to you. Perhaps you're making mistakes you'd never normally make, or you've started calling in sick when you're not physically ill but simply cannot face another day.

If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing burnout—a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. While often associated with work, burnout can stem from any sustained demand: caregiving, parenting, chronic health management, or simply the cumulative weight of modern life.

Burnout isn't a personal failing or weakness. It's what happens when demands consistently outweigh resources over time. And whilst rest helps, burnout often requires more than a holiday. It needs a fundamental reassessment of how you're living and working—which is precisely where therapy can help.

This guide explores what burnout actually is, why it develops, and how therapy supports genuine recovery rather than just temporary relief.

Table of Contents

• Understanding Burnout vs Stress
• The Three Dimensions of Burnout
• What Causes Burnout?
• Why Rest Alone Isn't Enough
• How Therapy Addresses Burnout
• Therapeutic Approaches for Stress and Burnout
• Recovery: What It Actually Looks Like
• Preventing Future Burnout
• Frequently Asked Questions

Understanding Burnout vs Stress

While related, stress and burnout aren't the same thing:

Stress

Stress is a response to demands or challenges. In manageable doses, stress can be energising—it's what gets you through a deadline or helps you rise to a challenge. Even significant stress, if time-limited with recovery periods, doesn't necessarily lead to burnout.

Stress feels like:

• Too much to do
• Pressure and urgency
• Hyperactive, anxious energy
• Sense that if you just get through this period, things will ease

Burnout

Burnout is what happens when stress becomes chronic without adequate recovery. It's characterised by depletion, disengagement, and ineffectiveness.

Burnout feels like:

• Nothing left to give
• Numb disconnection
• Exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix
• Cynicism or loss of meaning
• Sense that nothing will change

Key difference: Stress is about too much. Burnout is about not enough—not enough energy, care, hope, or meaning remaining.

The Three Dimensions of Burnout

Psychologist Christina Maslach identified three core dimensions of burnout:

1. Exhaustion

Physical, emotional, and mental depletion. You're running on empty, and rest doesn't seem to replenish you. This isn't just tiredness—it's a profound sense of having nothing left.

Signs include:

• Waking tired regardless of sleep
• Difficulty concentrating
• Physical symptoms: headaches, muscle tension, frequent illness
• Emotional numbness or mood swings
• Needing stimulants (caffeine, sugar) to function

2. Cynicism (Depersonalisation)

Detachment, negativity, and loss of care about your work or the people you're serving. You might become irritable, sarcastic, or emotionally distant. What once mattered now seems pointless.

Signs include:

• Negative attitude toward work or those you help
• Going through motions without investment
• Increased irritability or impatience
• Withdrawing from colleagues or clients
• Loss of satisfaction in achievements

3. Inefficacy (Reduced Personal Accomplishment)

Sense of inadequacy and declining productivity. You doubt your abilities, feel you're not achieving anything meaningful, and question whether you're any good at what you do.

Signs include:

• Feeling incompetent despite evidence of competence
• Reduced productivity and performance
• Difficulty completing tasks
• Sense nothing you do makes a difference
• Perfectionism or procrastination increasing

What Causes Burnout?

Burnout isn't caused by individual weakness—it's a response to chronic mismatches between person and environment. Common contributors include:

Workplace Factors

• Workload: Chronic excessive demands without adequate resources or time
• Control: Lack of autonomy over how you do your work
• Reward: Insufficient recognition, appreciation, or financial reward
• Community: Lack of support, connection, or toxic workplace culture
• Fairness: Perceived injustice or inequality
• Values: Mismatch between your values and organisational values

Personal Factors

• Perfectionism: Impossibly high standards for yourself
• People-pleasing: Difficulty saying no or setting boundaries
• Over-identification: Tying your entire self-worth to achievement or others' approval
• Lack of self-care: Consistently prioritising others' needs over your own

Situational Factors

• Caregiving: Sustained demands of caring for children, elderly parents, or ill partners
• Multiple roles: Juggling work, parenting, study, caregiving without adequate support
• Pandemic effects: Additional stress, isolation, and systemic strain
• Chronic uncertainty: Ongoing job insecurity or life instability

Often, burnout develops from combinations of these factors—a demanding job + perfectionism + lack of support + financial pressure + ongoing uncertainty.

Why Rest Alone Isn't Enough

"Just take a break" is common advice for burnout, but it's rarely sufficient. Here's why:

Burnout Isn't Fixed by Sleep

While exhaustion is part of burnout, it's not simple tiredness that sleep resolves. It's depletion at the level of meaning, motivation, and identity. You can sleep ten hours and still wake feeling empty.

The System Hasn't Changed

If you rest then return to exactly the same conditions that created burnout, you'll simply burn out again—often faster the second time.

Underlying Patterns Persist

If burnout stems partly from perfectionism, people-pleasing, poor boundaries, or tying self-worth to achievement, these patterns remain even after rest.

Shame and Isolation Continue

Without processing the experience, many people return from "rest" feeling ashamed they needed time off, anxious about being perceived as weak, and more isolated than before.

Rest is necessary but not sufficient. Recovery requires understanding what created burnout and making genuine changes—which is where therapy comes in.

How Therapy Addresses Burnout

Therapy for burnout works on multiple levels:

Creating Space to Process

Often, people struggling with burnout haven't stopped long enough to acknowledge how depleted they are. Therapy provides boundaried space to:

• Name what you're experiencing
• Validate that it's real and significant
• Grieve what burnout has cost you
• Express emotions you've been suppressing

Understanding Your Pattern

Therapy helps you identify your unique burnout pattern:

• Which demands have been unsustainable?
• What's been missing (support, control, meaning, rest)?
• Which of your own patterns contributed (perfectionism, people-pleasing, boundary difficulties)?
• What warning signs did you miss or override?

Challenging Beliefs

Burnout is often maintained by beliefs like:

• "I should be able to handle this"
• "Asking for help is weakness"
• "My worth depends on my productivity"
• "If I don't do it, everything will fall apart"
• "Taking care of myself is selfish"

Therapy gently challenges these beliefs, helping you develop more sustainable ways of thinking about work, rest, worth, and care.

Rebuilding Boundaries

Many people experiencing burnout have porous boundaries—struggling to say no, taking on others' responsibilities, working through illness or exhaustion. Therapy supports:

• Recognising your limits
• Practicing saying no
• Distinguishing your responsibility from others'
• Setting realistic expectations

Reconnecting with Meaning

Cynicism—one of burnout's core features—involves loss of meaning. Therapy helps you:

• Explore what genuinely matters to you
• Assess whether current work/life aligns with your values
• Rediscover purpose that's intrinsic rather than achievement-based
• Consider whether significant changes are needed

Developing Sustainable Practices

Recovery isn't about returning to how you were operating before. It's about building genuinely sustainable ways of working and living:

• Regular rest and recovery practices
• Early warning system for recognising stress
• Meaningful self-care beyond bubble baths
• Connection and support systems
• Work-life integration that honours all of your needs

Therapeutic Approaches for Stress and Burnout

Different therapeutic approaches address burnout in somewhat different ways:

Humanistic and Person-Centred Therapy

Humanistic approaches work with burnout by addressing the underlying disconnection from self that often underlies it. Through unconditional positive regard and empathic understanding, you gradually reconnect with your own needs, values, and limits—which may have been overridden by external demands and expectations.

The therapeutic relationship models a way of relating where your worth isn't dependent on achievement or productivity. This can be profoundly healing for people whose burnout stemmed from tying self-worth to performance.

Particular strengths: Rebuilding connection with self, clarifying values, addressing perfectionism and self-criticism, deep relational healing.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT for burnout focuses on:

• Identifying and challenging thoughts maintaining overwork ("I must be perfect," "I can't say no")
• Behavioral activation to gradually rebuild capacity
• Problem-solving around practical stressors
• Time management and activity scheduling
• Relaxation and stress management techniques

Particular strengths: Practical tools, structured approach, addressing specific stressors, measurable progress.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT works with burnout through:

• Accepting difficult feelings rather than fighting them
• Clarifying values and what genuinely matters
• Committed action toward values (even when difficult)
• Defusing from unhelpful thoughts
• Present-moment awareness

Particular strengths: Radically different relationship with stress, values-based decision-making, psychological flexibility.

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)

CFT specifically addresses the harsh self-criticism and perfectionism that often underlie burnout, helping you develop genuine self-compassion as an alternative to self-driven achievement.

Particular strengths: Addressing shame, developing self-compassion, soothing threat system.

Integrative Approaches

Many therapists work integratively, perhaps offering humanistic relational foundations whilst incorporating CBT techniques for specific stress management, or combining person-centred exploration with mindfulness practices.

Recovery: What It Actually Looks Like

Recovering from burnout isn't linear. Here's what realistic progress looks like:

Early Stage: Acknowledgment and Rest

Initial recovery involves:

• Actually stopping or significantly reducing demands
• Sleeping, resting, doing very little
• Allowing yourself to feel exhausted without judging it
• Beginning to process what happened

This stage can feel frustrating—you want to feel better immediately, but recovery takes time.

Middle Stage: Understanding and Experimenting

As energy gradually returns:

• Exploring patterns that led to burnout
• Experimenting with small changes (saying no to one request, leaving work on time once)
• Beginning to reconnect with pleasure and meaning
• Noticing what helps and what doesn't
• Processing grief or anger about what burnout cost you

Progress isn't linear—you'll have better weeks and worse weeks.

Later Stage: Rebuilding and Integration

As you genuinely recover:

• Energy becomes more reliable
• Engagement with work or projects returns (though perhaps differently)
• Boundaries feel clearer and more sustainable
• Self-care becomes genuinely restorative rather than performative
• Early warning system develops—you notice stress earlier and respond

Long-Term: Sustainable Living

Full recovery means:

• Not just returning to previous functioning but living more sustainably
• Genuine work-life balance rather than performative attempts
• Self-worth less dependent on achievement
• Ability to protect yourself from future burnout
• Values-aligned decisions about work and life

Preventing Future Burnout

Once recovered, how do you avoid burning out again?

Recognise Early Warning Signs

Learn your personal signals:

• Feeling constantly tired despite sleep
• Dreading work you usually tolerate
• Irritability increasing
• Difficulty concentrating
• Withdrawing from people
• Neglecting self-care

Act early when these emerge rather than pushing through.

Maintain Non-Negotiable Boundaries

Identify and protect key boundaries:

• Regular days off
• Sustainable work hours
• Time for relationships, hobbies, rest
• Saying no to additional commitments when at capacity

Regular Check-Ins

Build in regular reviews:

• Weekly: How am I feeling? What needs adjustment?
• Monthly: Is my current pace sustainable?
• Annually: Do my work and life still align with my values?

Meaningful Self-Care

Go beyond superficial wellness and address genuine needs:

• Adequate sleep
• Nourishing food
• Movement you enjoy
• Social connection
• Solitude when introverted
• Creative expression
• Time in nature
• Activities that genuinely restore rather than just distract

Professional Support

Don't wait until crisis to seek support. Ongoing or periodic therapy can help you:

• Process ongoing stress before it becomes burnout
• Maintain perspective
• Address emerging patterns early
• Navigate life transitions and increased demands

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does burnout recovery take?

This varies enormously depending on severity and circumstances. Mild burnout might improve significantly in 6-12 weeks with rest and changes. Moderate to severe burnout often requires 3-6 months or longer. If you can't reduce demands significantly, recovery takes longer.

Can I recover from burnout while still working?

Ideally, you'd take extended time off. However, many people can't afford this. Recovery whilst working is possible but slower. It requires: reducing hours if possible, very clear boundaries, increased support, addressing the patterns maintaining burnout, and accepting that progress will be gradual.

Is burnout the same as depression?

They overlap but aren't identical. Burnout is typically tied to specific life domains (usually work) and improves when demands reduce or change. Depression is more pervasive, affecting all areas of life. That said, untreated burnout can develop into depression. Sometimes both require treatment.

What if I can't change my work situation?

Sometimes genuinely unsustainable work situations require leaving. But often, significant improvements are possible through: negotiating workload, setting firmer boundaries, seeking support, changing your relationship to the work, or finding meaning outside work. Therapy can help assess whether staying is feasible or change is necessary.

Will therapy just teach me to cope with an impossible situation?

Good therapy doesn't just help you tolerate unsustainable circumstances. It helps you assess whether situations are genuinely unsustainable and supports you making necessary changes—whether that's boundary-setting, role changes, or leaving. Sometimes therapy helps you recognise you deserve better than coping.

Can burnout happen outside of work?

Absolutely. Parental burnout, caregiver burnout, chronic illness burnout, and general life burnout are all real. Any sustained demands without adequate recovery and support can lead to burnout.

How do I know if I need therapy or just a holiday?

If a good holiday leaves you genuinely refreshed and able to return to life feeling resourced, you probably just needed rest. If you're constantly exhausted, cynical, feeling ineffective, and rest doesn't help, therapy likely offers more meaningful support than another week off.

What if my workplace caused the burnout—why should I be the one in therapy?

You're right that burnout often stems from systemic workplace issues requiring organisational change. However, you can't control whether organisations change, and you need support regardless of whose "fault" it is. Therapy helps you recover, develop protective boundaries, and make informed decisions about whether to stay, push for change, or leave.

Building a Sustainable Life

Burnout is a signal—your system telling you that something fundamental isn't working. While it feels terrible, it's also information. Therapy helps you decode that information and use it to build something genuinely different: not just recovery to previous functioning, but sustainable ways of working and living that honour your actual limits and needs.

You don't need to be superhuman. You don't need to sacrifice your health for productivity. You don't need to prove your worth through achievement. These messages are everywhere in modern culture, but they're lies that lead directly to burnout.

The alternative isn't laziness or mediocrity. It's integration—bringing all of yourself to work and life, including your needs for rest, connection, meaning, and joy. It's recognising that sustainable productivity depends on genuine restoration, not pushing through exhaustion.

If you're struggling with chronic stress or burnout—if you're exhausted, disconnected, and doubting whether you can continue this way—therapy offers a path toward genuine recovery and sustainable change.

For humanistic, integrative therapy addressing stress and burnout in London, including Fulham, South West London, and across London via video, contact Kicks Therapy for an initial consultation. We offer compassionate support for recovery from burnout and building genuinely sustainable ways of working and living.

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About the Author: This article was written by the Kicks Therapy Content Team, with clinical input from BACP-registered therapists experienced in working with chronic stress and burnout.

Further Reading:

• Signs You Need Anxiety Therapy
• Building Confidence Through Therapy
• Understanding Humanistic Therapy
• First Counselling Session: What to Expect

Expert Sources:

• Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). "Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications for psychiatry." World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103-111.
• Schaufeli, W. B., et al. (2009). "Burnout and engagement in university students." Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 33(5), 464-481.
• British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). (2024). Working with stress and burnout. https://www.bacp.co.uk/